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Nashville's Randy Houser: Drake's Guitar
Playing To "Boots On"

Nashville Hillbilly Gags (p.2)
(click on the thumbnail images to see the product enlarged)

If Y'All Need Your Jokes In A Hurry
Call US At 615-665-1140. We Will Express Them Right Out.
We will be adding more jokes soon so be sure to check back often!


       Nashville Hillbilly Moonshine

"Tennessee White Lightning - 99 PROOF - Pure de ole MoonShine (Moonshine brewed in the hills of Tennessee from pure corn huskins and run across six county lines real fast for super-fresh, power-punch) Sho ya self when ya take that first sip of this here sho can knock ya off ya feet! WoW!!! Bubble, bubble, gulp, wheeee, whashuuuu!!! This little bottle'll last ya a good year, at least. Jist a little sip here and there. Take a good gulp, and ya'll never be sick agin. And when ya die, no need for embalming. GOOD STUFF!" 1 Labeled Bottle (mailed empty; add your own liquid)

      ONLY $3.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Bikini

Us hillbillies never thought we'd get into high-class fashion wear...but we done it. This new style is gonna be a BIG SELLER fer us.
(1 Package - 2 Bandaids and a Cork)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Bubble Bath

Instructions on back are simple and "plain as day" to follow. "Just cook up these here beans jist afore taking yor bath. And for whirlpool action without no fancy gadgets, use two packs. It'll blow ya away!"
(1 Package)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Degree

Official Degree laminated for membership into the Royal Order of Hillbillies, signed by Bubba and Leroy - durn good proof that you've graduated to the ranks of gen-u-wine "Hillbilly."
(1 Laminated Degree - Personalize with your own Black Permanent Marker)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Corn Cob

Just as it say, "Modernize yor outhouse by replacing that ole Sears 'n Roebuck catalogue (where you have to use a page 'r two after reading 'em), and use the ole disposable corn cob." Washable and reusable.
(1 Package)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Donut Seeds

Make yor garden beautiful next year! Plant these here Donut Seeds for the purdiest, sweetest flours in town.
(1 Package)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Flashlight

Don't never get caught in du dark without a light! This here new-fangled flashlight is a real status cymbal.
(1 Package)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Old Age Pills

Looked in the mirror lately??? It's later than you think. Here's the "Fountain of Youth" for aging hillbillies. Just take the right pill:
Impotence...One of each
If none of these works, get a good stiff drink, and lie down for dying!"
(1 Labeled Bottle with Pills)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Sinus & Allergy Control

Runny nose? Sure cure! Stop drippin' in yor milk!
(1 Package)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Sillycone

Nashville Hillbilly Sillycone - Dolly Parton's favorite brand. Every little hillbilly girl wants to grow up BIG - like Dolly. Simple instructions: "Apply to flat area with a Southern drawl until you feel like you'll bust." Really does the job! Non-prescription.
(1 Labeled and Filled Bottle)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Hillbilly Washer & Dryer

Time to replace that ole worn out washer and dryer??? If you ain't got no good washer, get yoreself an uptown set, like them city-folks.
(1 Package)

      ONLY $2.00

       Nashville Rattlesnake Eggs

"One dozen Tennessee Rattlesnake Eggs - prepared in Nashville by The Tennessee Game Farm." This small package of rattlesnake eggs carries the warning: "Keep in a cool place to prevent hatching." Rubber band flapper is set off if envelope is opened. Loads of fun to watch the unsuspecting!
(By the way, do rattlesnakes really hatch from eggs???)
(1 Package)

      ONLY $2.50

       Nashville Redneck Attitude Adjuster

Red Neck
Country Boy

      ONLY $8.99

       Nashville Shot Glass Woke Up With

Never Gone To Bed With An Ugly Woman
But When I Woke
Changed My Tune

      ONLY $6.99

       Nashville Whoopie Cushion

Watch Where You Sit
Or You'll Be Sorry

      ONLY $1.89

       Nashville Ball Cap White Trash

Always Have Cash
With Worn Bib

      ONLY $12.99

       Nashville Moonshine Salt and Pepper Shakers

Everytime I Shake My Moonshine Salt and Pepper
I Can't Help But Think of The Steal Outback
Yumm, Yumm, Just Can't Wait 'Til it is Brewed!


       Nashville Moonshine Jug Bank

I'm saving my money fer
The "real stuff"


       Nashville Nut House

Just a few nuts live here.
If you can stand it
come and join us.


       Nashville Hillbilly Cell Phone

Billy's Got It Made
His Bed His John His Cell Phone
Ah, Billy Maybe They
Will Just Keep Yee


       Nashville Out House Rules


       Nashville Mug Jack Schitt

Do you know Jack Schitt?


       Nashville Cow Died

My Cow Died So
I Don't Need Your Bull Anymore!


Marilyn Monroe Drivers License

Drivers License

ONLY $4.99 ONLY $4.99

Jimmy Dean Drivers License

Moe's Drivers License

ONLY $4.99 ONLY $4.99

Larry's Drivers License

Curly's Drivers License

ONLY $4.99 ONLY $4.99

Nashville Shot Glass

Shot Glass with Little Man Hanging On
Inscription: "We're not driven to drink - We volunteer"
(Tennessee is the "Volunteer State")
ONLY $4.99

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